IT WAS NOT AN EASY CHOICE

THE DEFICIT REDUCTION PARTY PROUDLY ANNOUNCES OUR CHOICE FOR THE OFFICE OF VICE PRESIDENT.

It is with great satisfaction that I inform our voters of the name of the person I feel qualified to serve as our Vice President. In keeping with the timing of our opposition,I felt it was the proper time to divulge the name and to give you a little insight on who she is, and why I chose her.

Her name is Sophie McNamara Glutz and she is a resident of Brooklyn, N.Y. Her experience in Government is admittedly non-existent. She is not a former Beauty queen. She has however, spent as much time as a "bagger" in a super market (147 days) as has our Democratic nominee spent in Congress. She has never hunted, driven a snowmobile nor has she any of the traits of the V.P choice of the Republican party.

Why then you ask, have I chosen her as my running mate? Well, for starters i can no longer run fast nor can she, make the word "partner" meaningful. Her real experience comes from meeting people from all walks of life as they come through the cash registers while she quickly and adeptly bags their groceries. I have watched her in action and admired her keen interest in people, asks pertinent questions, such as "Where do you work and how much do they pay you?" She has a grasp of what the common person wants and somehow gathered the funds necessary to "buy" the position, no small task.

Sophie has her eye on the ball. She knows what the middle class and the underprivileged people crave. She will be a tremendous asset.

Many of our Presidents and Vice Presidents came to office with no knowledge of running a company, let alone a Government. They learned while occupying the Oval office. Sophie has goals that coincide with mine. She is interested in and concerned about the very things I have promised to dedicate my term of office to accomplishing. She drives her own 1949 Blue Plymouth and therefore will not require a Limo or a Chauffeur. This may not sound like much but you must remember, our #1 priority is to reduce the deficit.

Unlike the other two major parties and their show Biz conventions, The DRParty asks for no contributions, will not accept government funding. We will make ours once in office. Our convention will be a modest one and the address of the DUNKIN DONUT shop will be announced soon.

Ms. Glutz has never been married and has already enrolled in Weight Watchers. She has asked that no photo of her be published until she loses her goal of 80 pounds, and i will honor her wish. Together we will lead the DRParty to victory and more important, we will fulfill each of the 20 pledges contained in our platform.

Please accept our choice for the office of Vice President of the United States, Ms. Sophia McNamara Glutz, and may God Bless America.

aL Hoffman
DRP Candidate for President